You may come across few people who may look confident, but from inside they are far away from it. Actually, if you are such kind of person you are occasionally confident, pretty much, other times, not at all. So you are spending a huge amount of time gaining such kind of confidence in the short term to atleast appear confident even where you are not. Though actual confidence takes time to develop as it is a steady process, there are a number of ways by which you can fake the confident look.
- Listening more
Talking more is a mask of insecurity. When you are anxious and doubtful, it is quite easy to speak nonsense which you later cannot remember. People who are truly confident are quiet and are modest with their opinions. They already have knowledge of what they are thinking. To act more confident, ask open-ended questions that give your audience freedom to be thoughtful and reflective.
- Shine the spotlight on other people.
Maybe you have done most of the work, or you may have overcomes some major obstacles. Maybe you really deserve the glory, but just don’t ask for it. Shine the spotlight on the other members of the group. Confident and modest people do not ask for tributes and honours, they do not need glory that is they know what they have achieved.
- Ask for frequent help
Some people feel asking for help makes them look weak. That is especially true when you look
unconfident- the last thing a person may want. Actually, the opposite is true; confident people are sure enough to show their weakness. Asking “ can you help me” is a huge compliment as it shows the tremendous respect for that individual and his judgemental skills. So when you need help you must always ask for it.
- Own your mistakes
Insecurity about your thinking and knowledge manifests artificiality whereas confidence shows sincerity and honesty. That is the main reason why confident people admit their mistakes. They don’t mind being the source or the centre of laughter for others and themselves. So don’t try and be more Impressive than you are. Do not try a perfect way, be human as real confidence is based on having nothing to hide from the outside world.
- Spend some of the anti confidence chemicals
When you feel anxious or stressed, your adrenal gland release cortisol; the hormone that triggers the fight or flight reflex. When you are too anxious, your vision gets tunnelled and thereby reduces the ability to think and then you feel scared.
So to avoid it, start exercising that would burn off the excess cortisol. Take a walk before lunch or work out before leaving for work.
So don’t be afraid to say what you think, start saying what you believe. Then listen and if it turns out to be wrong, it’s a good sign as that gives you a fair opportunity to learn and show that you are secure enough to admit your mistakes.